So this is what happens when you hire a clearly drunken sailor to re-design your once iconic logo.

Why stop at sneezing? I take pride in blessing all bodily functions.

I mostly just like slobbery dog kisses because they’re so efficient — one kiss and I get to taste the wrong end of every dog in the neighborhood.

Free Grand Slam breakfast. Yeah, I’d say that’s worth at least 4 hours in balmy 23 degree weather. Definitely.

Gigantic + Enormous = Ridiculous