I like the way this phrase allows me to be annoying, sarcastic, condescending, and inquisitive all in one breath.

Almost the exact and polar opposite of polishing a turd.

It’s [i-kon-uh-mee], stupid.

Anyways.

I think the question really is: “What do you do if I won’t?”

Am I expected to be amused or alarmed ?

Do we really need to see the son of an Olympic has-been get his “Bro” on for an endless stream of man dates?

I’ve always wondered, is it brother from another mother? Or brutha from another mother?

The best part about gold flaked and caviar encrusted food is that it allows me to take the idea of  “eating, drinking and sh%tting money” to an entirely new level.

I may not be heavy set, but I do have a heavy set.

Of steel balls.

I don’t see a price on the giant Snoopy. Do you take credit cards?

Since the media stopped covering the election I barely know who’s even running for president anymore.

Thank goodness you’re too lazy (or too lame) to remove that bumper sticker from your car. Now when I travel back in time to vote, I won’t feel quite so clueless.

I have a better idea. How ’bout you treat me today and stop talking.

Style wise, I’m pretty sure you can never go wrong if you simply model your facial hair after that Boris guy on Rocky and Bullwinkle.

As the Olde English Proverb goes: You can’t have your friends and hate them too.

I’m glad to see the toymakers finally answered my call. For years I’ve been sitting around wishing they would just hurry up and create a defecating toy wrapped in a creepy baby shell. See, dreams do come true.

I’m sorry ma’am, they may accept your money in Boocooistan, but I’m afraid it’s simply no good here.

Can I help you……Sir?