Or what I like to call a Semi and/or crappy RV passing another Semi and/or crappy RV that is going basically the same speed. Extra points for the jack ass that does it on the incline.

Oh yeah, I forgot, we’re all just citizens of the world now.

For everyone who wasn’t listening last time. When you turn 16 around here, you get a driver’s license, a cheesy birthday party and the keys to the car…. not a compass, a one man craft and a 30 day supply of food.

This is complete bullsh%t — Oprah was totally robbed!

Two-words: Hunger. Strike.

Can’t you kids misplace your adoration on Miley Cyrus like the rest of us?

I love to serve politicians, but for some reason they never get seated at my table.

I wish dressing like a shameless hussy when you’re 12 was in style when I was 12. What a rip-off.

Prepare to be mesmerized. Look for the manwich with the beard.

A donut bar without a cream filled center is like a pillow fight without a pillow. It’s not funny, it just stings.

Ouch.