yeah, that’s right. I said it.

…that just sucks.

Why not just put a pair of scissors in your mouth while you’re at it. Don’t tempt me, I will trip you.

Or what I like to call jogging in place and doing calisthenics while you wait for the light change. If you want some real exercise, let’s see you go before the light changes.

Well, I guess you my friend haven’t had enough beer in your lifetime. Everyone knows a good belly buck trumps a chest bump.

Really! You came in first? Gee, I never would have noticed had you not forced your index finger into the air as you passed the camera mouthing the words “I’m number one”.

The party doesn’t have to stop just because you hit the water. Plus, mirrored swim goggles sure come in handy when your lane mate needs to check his girlish figure.

For the first two days of the Olympics I thought there were actually co-ed relays. Seriously, is that extra .02 time gain worth the humiliation?