• 31Jul

    Eating Cake While Rome is Burning

    Mmmmm, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom…

    Filed under: Big Fat Government, Politics
    No Comments
  • 31Jul

    The Term Man-Cave

    I thought we weren’t suppose to talk about man-cave.

    Filed under: Just Plain Hideous, Vocab
    No Comments
  • 31Jul

    The Uber-Scripted Reality Show DC Cupcakes

    The only thing more annoying than Katherine … is Sophie.

    Filed under: Big Fat Waste, Celebrity
    No Comments
  • 22Jul

    Slow on Slow Vehicle Passing

    Or what I like to call a Semi and/or crappy RV passing another Semi and/or crappy RV that is going basically the same speed. Extra points for the jack ass that does it on the incline.

    Filed under: Traffic/Auto, WTF?
    No Comments
  • 22Jul

    The Kate Gosselin Media Obsession

    I’m so confused. Is producing a litter of children a good thing then…, or not?

    Filed under: Annoying Stuff, Celebrity
    No Comments
  • 01Jul

    The De-Patriotic-ing of Wonder Woman

    Oh yeah, I forgot, we’re all just citizens of the world now.

    Filed under: Media, WTF?
    No Comments
  • 01Jul

    The Incessant Coverage of Jake and Vienna

    Okay, so what’s it gonna cost me to get Britney Spears to shave her head again?

    Filed under: Celebrity, Media
    No Comments
  • 13Jun

    Threatening to Kick Someone’s Ass

    …when clearly you need to kick your own.

    Filed under: Big Fat Government, Politics
    No Comments
  • 13Jun

    Tiny World Travelers

    For everyone who wasn’t listening last time. When you turn 16 around here, you get a driver’s license, a cheesy birthday party and the keys to the car…. not a compass, a one man craft and a 30 day supply of food.

    Filed under: WTF?
    No Comments
  • 29May

    Me Having to Ask for a Refill

    My tip rate is 5 cents per ounce.

    Filed under: Annoying Stuff, Food, Just Plain Hideous
    No Comments
  • 29May

    The Infinite Loop Oil Spill Cam

    Uh, yeah, I saw it the first time.

    Filed under: Annoying Stuff, Big Fat Government, Big Fat Waste
    No Comments
  • 07Feb

    Super Bowl Overhype

    yeah, that’s right. I said it.

    Filed under: Media, Politics, Sports
    No Comments
  • 07Jan

    Unneccesary Submissive Bowing

    So, in other words, any submissive bowing.

    Filed under: Just Plain Hideous, Politics
    No Comments
  • 16Dec

    “Merry Christmas” Substitute Salutations

    Just checked. Yup, December 25 still says Christmas.

    Filed under: Political Correctness
    No Comments
  • 16Dec

    Auto Wreaths

    That really puts the wtF in Festive.

    Filed under: Traffic/Auto
    No Comments
  • 15Oct

    Global Warming Fever

    I was a global warming activist until it became simply too cumbersome to launch protest in my sub zero parka and faux fur ushanka.

    Filed under: Media
    No Comments
  • 14Oct

    Check Stand Charity Drives

    I love to be hit up for money every time I interact with a checker. I mean seriously, what goes together better than charitable donations and grocery shopping? Apparently nothing.

    Filed under: Annoying Stuff
    No Comments
  • 13Oct

    The Phrase “It Is What It Is”

    No sh%t.

    Filed under: Vocab
    No Comments
  • 12Oct

    Inescapable Ads Played Before Online Videos

    Well, that’s clearly 30 seconds of my life I’ll never get back. Again.

    Filed under: Technology
    No Comments
  • 12Oct

    Cursor Highjacking

    No, really, I wanted to use Google.
    But thanks for not asking. Bing.

    Filed under: Annoying Stuff, Technology
    No Comments
  • 12Oct

    Internet Pop-Ups

    So we’re stickin’ with the pop-up, huh? Makes sense. Why would you deviate from a marketing tool that guarantees to dazzle, amaze, and annoy the living sh%t out of potential customers?

    Filed under: Technology
    No Comments
  • 09Oct

    Passing Out Peace Prizes to Every Tom, Dick and Barack

    This is complete bullsh%t — Oprah was totally robbed!

    Two-words: Hunger. Strike.

    Filed under: Big Fat Waste, WTF?
    No Comments
  • 08Oct

    Pronouncing the Imaginary Double E in Tokyo

    Kevin has sworn to open a can of Chuck Norris on someone if he hears the word Tokee-yo again. It’s Toke-yo beeotch.

    Filed under: Food, Traffic/Auto, Vocab
    No Comments
  • 08Oct

    Choreographed Praises for Our Dear Leaders

    Can’t you kids misplace your adoration on Miley Cyrus like the rest of us?

    Filed under: WTF?
    No Comments
  • 08Oct

    Playing the Race Card

    But, if all else fails, play the race card. The password is……….racist.

    Filed under: Media, Politics
    No Comments
  • 08Oct

    This Guy as the Go-To Obama Impersonator

    Really SNL? I’m guessing Chevy Chase wasn’t available?

    Filed under: Media
    No Comments
  • 07Oct

    The Media Over-Fascination with Jon and Kate

    So, is 8 in reference to the number of kids they have, or the number of babysitters that find “Jon” simply too delicious to resist?

    Filed under: Celebrity, Media
    No Comments
  • 07Oct

    Long Fingernails (in the Men’s Department)

    Since when did they make Lee Press On’s for Men?
    Lady Fingers are for dessert only, dude.

    Filed under: Ew! - Gross, Fashion/Trends
    No Comments
  • 06Oct

    Pronouncing Important as if it Were Spelled “Impordant”

    Pat, I’d like to buy a consonant, and possibly reading classes for my friend.

    Filed under: Vocab
    No Comments
  • 04Oct

    Disgusting Public Restrooms

    Trucker 57,  Your shower is ready.

    Filed under: Ew! - Gross
    No Comments
  • 01Oct

    Handling Charges

    Dude, like I want you touching my junk. I barely even know you.

    Filed under: Annoying Stuff
    No Comments
  • 01Oct

    T.V. News Tickers

    If you want, I could jog in place and juggle a few plates here while I’m at it.

    Filed under: Media, Technology
    No Comments
  • 22Sep

    The Auto-Lock/Horn-Chirp Combo

    Yup, it’s locked.

    Filed under: Annoying Stuff, Traffic/Auto
    No Comments
  • 21Sep

    Calling California “Californio”

    Is that clear? Kathy.

    Filed under: Annoying Stuff, Vocab
    No Comments
  • 17Sep

    Pledging to Serve Elected Officials

    I love to serve politicians, but for some reason they never get seated at my table.

    Filed under: Big Fat Government, Celebrity, WTF?
    No Comments
  • 17Sep

    The Term “Pig Out”

    I thought it was “Ryan Seacrest out”. Why must we announce everytime a pig leaves the room?

    Filed under: Food, Traffic/Auto, Vocab
    No Comments
  • 17Sep

    Ground Bird Meat

    I’m pretty comfortable with shoving a cow through a grinder, but that’s clearly where it ends.

    Filed under: Food
    No Comments
  • 17Sep

    Addressing Others as “Bra”

    ….and I call all my lady friends jockstrap.

    Filed under: Vocab
    No Comments
  • 16Sep

    Nor-Cal: The Term and the T-Shirt

    Nor-Cal. That’s so So-Cal

    Filed under: Fashion/Trends, Vocab
    No Comments
  • 15Sep

    The Word “Fustrated”

    About five years ago, I formally announced that I would no longer use the ‘FR’ combo. This is what happens.

    Filed under: Vocab
    No Comments
  • 14Sep

    Spending Tax Dollars to Fund Brothel Information Services

    I would expect all government funded agencies to be equally well informed. I tried to get underage prostitution start up advice at the local post office — and they didn’t know s%!$.

    Filed under: Big Fat Government, Big Fat Waste, Politics
    No Comments
  • 14Sep

    Vampires: Media Over Saturation

    So the whole vampire thing, that’s an inside joke right?

    Filed under: Just Plain Hideous, Media
    No Comments
  • 14Sep

    Feet Shuffling

    I’m actually glad you don’t pick up your feet when you walk. At least we now know what a human-sloth hybrid looks like.

    Filed under: Annoying Stuff, Just Plain Hideous
    No Comments
  • 14Sep

    All Inclusive at the Register

    I’m doing my best to grab my groceries and get out of the large woman’s way behind me, could you please bundle my receipt in with a wad of loose change and shove it in my hand, yeah thanks, that would be great.

    Filed under: Annoying Stuff
    No Comments
  • 14Sep

    Light Change Horn Honking

    Geez, am I sure glad you were behind me, I had absolutely no idea what to do when I saw that weird orb dangling over the intersection change from red to green.

    Filed under: Annoying Stuff, Traffic/Auto
    No Comments
  • 14Sep

    Pen Clicking

    I love the soothing sounds that eminate from your pen when you break into your little audio-water-torture routine. Click, Click, Clicky. Just Click it in, Just Click it in.

    Filed under: Annoying Stuff
    No Comments
  • 14Sep

    Umbrella Muskateers

    I love the rain. When I wield my mightly umbrella, I literally rule the kingdom. And when I say kingdom, I mean sidewalk.

    Filed under: Annoying Stuff
    No Comments
  • 12Sep

    Using The @ Symbol Instead of the Word

    Remember that time, before Al Gore invented the internet, when nobody even knew about the @ symbol and we had to completely bust a hump to spell out the entire word? Yeah, that was cool.

    Filed under: Technology
    No Comments
  • 10Sep

    The Term “Swine Flu”

    Everything’s better with bacon, right?

    Filed under: Vocab
    No Comments
  • 10Sep

    Eating Contests

    Is the winner the guy who shoves the most food in his water-soaked-hot-dog hole, or the guy who’s chair first buckles under the enormous pressure?

    Filed under: Big Fat Waste, Food
    No Comments
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